Ludhiana: Are you worried about final exams? Are you having sleepless nights? Are you not eating well? Are you feeling constantly irritable? And are you above 35?
If you have answered yes to all the above questions, you definitely are the parent of a student appearing for the exams. It’s more than likely that you are emotionally stressed too.
Psychiatrists and counselors have noticed citywide trend among many parents whose children are appearing for Board and competitive exams suffers from sleepless nights, anxiety, depression and quarrelling with each other. This exam season, psychiatrists are spending more time in counseling the parents of children appearing for exams, rather than the children themselves.
“Children take stress and are apprehensive, but parents tend to go over-board. They are the ones who need to be counseled more than the kids,” said Child and Family Counselor, Motivational Speaker and Teacher of PGT Psychology from Sacred Heart Senior Secondary School, Shamina Deol.
No TV, no phones, no talking, no hanging out with friends, in short nothing else than the books should be the instructions given by the parents, whose children are appearing for Boards this year.
“I want to make my child focus on studies, out social networking distracts my child a lot. How he stay focused?” “What can I do to help my child to score highest marks in upcoming board exams?”, “Could you please suggest some ways for better time management as my daughter is unable to cover more than two chapters a day?”. These are few questions that parents of kids studying in the city schools have been asking to the city counselors and psychiatrists.
While talking to Daily Post, most city counselors shared that they have been flooded with calls from “stressed parents” more than “stressed students”. Shamina Deol said, “I am getting an increasing number of parents of Board exam students complaining about stress and depression. If parents are stressed out, the child automatically suffers.”
Raman Rajput, a class XII student of a city private school, who is busy preparing for his competitive exams, is unable to give in as much time to his Board exams preparation. He isn’t as worried about the Board exams as he maintains that the preparation for his competitive exams is more crucial. His mother though is having sleepless nights.
Another mother Arnima Rajput said, “The results of Board exams are taken in to consideration and the mark sheet is presented no matter where one goes. I don’t know how to get this thought across to my son.”
Parents have taken a month long break from work to help their children in their final exams.
A parent, Nidhi Bhatia whose daughter Somiya is appearing for the Board exams said, “I get up every day at 4 am and wake Somiya up. She then freshens up and I make hot chocolate for her. An hour later, I give her something to eat. I know that she gets hungry.”
Nidhi has her routine fixed around her daughter’s exams. She has taken leave from her bank job. She also plans to drop Somiya off to her exam center during the exams. Notwithstanding children’s perception, parents are as worried as their children. Nidhi said, “The competition is so high. We want to give our children all help they require. Our routine does not matter.”
But according to the psychologists parents need as much help as their hardworking children. “The child’s emotional need is the most important, parents also need to focus on their emotional needs”, said KVM school Counselor and clinical psychologist, Dr. Shikha Verma.
She further added, “The entire attention is so focused on the child that parents give little care to their own needs. So many times I have had to deal with post examination depression or health problems in parents. What the parent does not realize, is that if they face any problem, invariably it’s going to affect their children”.
Counselor Shamina Deol said, “At times, I have to spend half an hour just guiding parents to not fret so much, as this can negatively impact the child, who otherwise might just be studying as much even in two hours. However parents come up with more questions related to competition with their friends and others around them, while students want to know how they memorize well.”
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